That Oceanic Feeling

When you look out at the calm, rippling sea, what is it that you feel?

Romain Rolland came up with the phrase "oceanic feeling", referring to "a sensation of 'eternity'" and a feeling of "being one with the external world as a whole".

It's a mysterious and rare feeling I find myself thinking about more and more. I can see it being found in stillness at a high vantage point, or in steady movement through a sprawling natural landscape. At least, i'm certain there needs to be some kind of vast expanse in which you dissolve; lonely yet familiar, accepted into a greater whole.

It must be some kind of wandering, roaming feeling.

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Emanon by Kenji Tsuruta is one of my all-time favorite manga series. Emanon is a woman in the present day on Earth, but has evolved and reincarnated herself since the dawn of life, retaining all past memory. She is a being as old as life itself, bearing witness to its entire history.

There are many beautiful and atmospheric panels of Emanon like this one of her just existing, experiencing what must precisely be the oceanic feeling, that breathtaking sensation of eternity. In a very literal sense, she and the world are one and the same; she is eternity.

Each generation of Emanon is succeeded the moment she gives birth. Her entire memory and identity is transferred to her offspring. When she's old enough to leave home, her instinct is to depart and wander the Earth. During this solemn yet vital journey, she quietly observes the world and contemplates the nature of her existence, often with a cigarette in hand.

More often these days, I feel a deepening need to temporarily dissociate and find a moment of peace from my own mind. To empty the self and merge into the world. To escape, to wander as Emanon does, might just be to access that oceanic feeling.